Two days after my book launch I went straight to a progressive retreat from Joe Dispenza in Basel. After that, I've taken plenty of time to integrate everything and reorganize new things in my life. New plans and new projects, as well as logistics and legal implications, among others. That way I came up with the new workshop YOU ARE NOT BROKEN, YOU ARE EVOLVING — Managing Fear and Anxiety. I’ll be talking more about this in my next email.
Besides the workshop, my life keeps rearranging itself in different ways. It seems there is no end, or any idea when the puzzle will finally be arranged. But I'm very happy about that. Mostly they're good things, and I know it's all for the better. I'm the one contributing most to this!
What can I contribute this to? And that's exactly what I want to talk about in this chapter: Meditation. That's what the Dr. Joe Dispenza retreat was all about. And I loved it. During my empowerment journey overcoming challenges and transitions in my life, I've been a sponge, using all kinds of tools and learnings to make my life easier and improve myself. I started with easy journaling, which came naturally and easily to me. Then I started exploring visualizations, subliminals, reflection writing exercises, breathing exercises—including them in my daily routines, and switching to other tools or exercises that could work as well. I've tried almost 'everything.' But it was not until I started practicing meditation for real that I noticed deeper and long lasting changes in my inner state and well-being.
My interest in meditation started with visualization exercises I'd practice from watching YouTuber Aaron Doughty and the UPW from Tony Robbins, to name a few. I particularly loved the Priming exercise from Tony Robbins. A 15-minute exercise that includes breathing, visualization, gratitude—all of that taking you to a quick, meditative, beautiful state that lifts you up and helps you rewire your brain for the day.
I loved that exercise, and I got curious to find ways to maintain that state for longer and go even deeper. So I tried some guided meditations from time to time, exploring different purposes and learning how to do it. Little by little I could start feeling a more prolonged state of peace, trust, more calm. I started feeling better and learning how to surrender in the present moment. How to forgive myself and practice more gratitude every day. Learning that I can regulate my emotions and therefore live a much happier life—one I can enjoy without having to put up with fear and anxiety as a normal denominator in my life.
After some time practicing this, I realized how I used to live in survival and was trapped in that way of living. That's why I got more curious and respectful about meditation. By that time I'd read, heard, and seen a lot about Joe Dispenza's work, but I hadn't done his meditations yet. So about a year ago—or even a bit earlier, around September—I started doing his meditations. First one, then another. Then I got his book You Are the Placebo for my birthday in October, and from there I started that meditation plus Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself. I also tried the pineal gland breathing, which I struggle to do well, but I could definitely feel the huge amount of energy going up to the head and brain. It's just amazing.
From there, I've been doing his meditations every day, whenever I find the best time. Sometimes in the evening before bed. Sometimes in the morning when I wake up, or even during the day if I don't find another time.
What can I say about that, and why do I keep doing it? Because I've noticed a huge change in myself and my state of being—in how I'm getting to know myself. In how to trust and surrender even when your world around seems like it's falling apart and other people might be crumbling down. It's the inner state that I love… that peace, that trust, that love… knowing that you're fine as you are, with your flaws and traits. Knowing that you've been seeing the world with the same glasses, but you can put on better ones. That's what it is! Like new glasses. New glasses to look inward, to know yourself—from your most painful and embarrassing emotions to the most beautiful and loving ones. And integrate it. Accept it. Feel it. Love it. BE IT.
And every time it gets better. I get to know myself even more. It's amazing! Do you know the feeling when you're in the sauna relaxing, sunbathing, doing a very relaxing activity that puts your thoughts away, and you just enjoy the moment? Sometimes in those moments is when I get the best ideas or answers to what I need. And so is meditation to me as well. If I'm worried, don't know what to do, or I'm feeling anxious… I meditate. And I get the answer somehow. It pops into my head, or sometimes thoughts show up trying to think about nothing, and there it is… the answer I needed. The new decision I know I have to make. The feeling of trust and knowing that doing so will only increase my chances; will only give me more confidence, and I will have data to know what comes next.
Sometimes, if I don't want a specific answer or idea, I just want to shut down the clutter of thoughts rushing through my mind. So I meditate, and it helps as well. Sometimes even realizing things about myself. How I've been reacting. How I've been improving. How I used to feel a certain way with people, conditioned by my own perception, and so I behaved. How I can improve that to feel more myself and stop conditioning my behaviors to other people. Change my perception and feel accepted and valued, starting with myself. All in all, a lot more conscious. And every time I discover more, I improve more… feeling more stable, more balanced, to the point that I freak out less, and sometimes find myself not giving priority to things that are not that important anymore. It's okay! I could feel bad, of course. But it's not the end of the world anymore. There's always a solution, always a possibility at the other end of every action we take. Learning to receive and feel worthy of much more than what we're used to.
Who wouldn't like that? So that's the reason why I love meditating and I'm getting more into it. I ended up doing it now because it feels good and gives benefits to my life. Not because 'I have to.'
And if it's not your thing, it's okay! I'm just explaining my experience with it. I didn't do it for many years. For me, it would have been something boring, something I didn't find purpose in.
Why would I waste my time by sitting and doing 'nothing'? Not even yoga. I found it boring.
But lately, due to major transitions and challenges, I ended up using meditation as a main tool in my daily routine. So I can totally understand it. But who knows?
So that's why I went to Joe Dispenza's retreat. I've never meditated with so many other people, and it was a good experience. Feeling that high energy around the place, and many people striving for something similar. We had in total 6 meditations, including the pineal gland breathing, which is still exhausting for me and I find it a bit difficult.
It was amazing, and I'd definitely like to try a 7-week-long retreat next year. I'll find the time for it for sure!
To finish… funny thing: after the retreat and the deeper meditations I've done since, I've also noticed subtle changes in myself. How I feel with people. How I feel with myself. Sometimes surprising and unexpected, making me wonder 'why did I do this?' I guess there are many changes happening when you do that, and they can translate a bit messy, a bit weird, but all integrating somehow. Like a puzzle that's rearranging itself. Sometimes some pieces don't fit, and it takes some time for them to find their right spot. You just have to trust the process and keep being consistent! That's how I see it.
So I'm curious about how this keeps progressing. In the meantime, I keep planning my workshop YOU ARE NOT BROKEN, YOU ARE EVOLVING — Managing Fear and Anxiety for November, and an online course to present this workshop in a format that's available anytime and remotely as well. Excited about this step! I'll definitely keep you posted, if interested, of course.
How about you? How is your view about meditation and the topic of my workshop?
Love,
Leslie
